| I was listening to "Tokyo" by Yui and realized that it had a lot to do with what I'm feeling right now. It's officially August and that means that at the end of the month I'll be headed off to college. Yui wrote this song to describe her feelings about leaving her hometown for the big city of Tokyo to start her music career; I'm using it to also describe my feelings about leaving Lancaster and heading out to that big, scary city: Philadelphia. This is one kickass song. Love it.
Check it out.
住みなれた この部屋を
出てゆく日が来た
新しい旅だちに まだ戸惑ってる 駅まで向かうバスの中
友達にメールした 朝のホームで 電話もしてみた
でもなんか 違う気がした 古いギターをひとつ持ってきた
写真は全部 置いてきた 何かを手放して そして手にいれる
そんな繰り返しかな? つよがりは いつだって 夢に続いてる
臆病になったら そこで途切れるよ 走りだした電車の中
少しだけ泣けてきた 窓の外に続いてる この町は
かわらないでと願った 古いギターをアタシにくれたひと
東京は怖いって言ってた 答えを探すのは もうやめた
間違いだらけでいい 赤い夕焼けがビルに途切れた
涙をこらえても 次の朝がやってくるたびごとに
迷うことだってあるよね? 正しいことばかり選べない
それくらいわかってる Today I have to leave this old room of mine.
I'm still unsure about this new journey.
On the bus ride to the train station,
I text-messaged my friends.
At the station I tried calling someone,
But something felt different about it all.
All I brought with me was an old guitar,
Leaving the rest of my old life behind.
I take something and I get something,
I ponder that cycle in my heart.
I always try to hide my fears in my dreams.
When get afraid, I can't seem to do anything.
I got on the train, it rushed away,
And I slowly started to cry.
Life in my town continued on outside.
I prayed that it'd never change.
The man who gave me my old guitar
Told me Tokyo is a scary place.
I've stopped looking for all the answers.
It's okay to have some flaws.
Those grey skyscrapers blocked the setting sun.
Even if I endure these tears today,
Won't tomorrow's cold morning hold more doubt? 
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| So it's 2:44AM EST right now and I'm still up. I'm taking a break from reading a book called Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand. Initially, I started reading it because I'm eventually going to write a scholarship essay on it, but it's turned into so much more than that. I feel that I really connect with the protagonists, whereas most people might find them obnoxious for being so condescending and detached from the "moral virtues" of life.
I recently just finished reading a section of the book where Francis d'Anconia gives a speech in response to the statement "money is the root of all evil." It took five pages of tiny print to spell out, but it was amazing the logic that was used to perfectly refute the statement. Man, I wish I were that badass. Hahaha.
I feel like a lot of you that are friends with me would enjoy the book greatly. Although I'm only 392 pages into the 1069 page book, I'm sure that the latter part won't disappoint, just as the first part surely has not. I'm already looking forward to continue this academic venture by reading the other two books she's written. Well, there goes my entire summer. Whoo!
PS: College financial stuff sucks. Roar. (Well, it's not that bad. But still, ROAR!)
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| I've known it for awhile now, but today it just really hit me. I pulled out all my financial stuff for college and crunched some numbers really quick. I ended up with a large chunk of money that needed to be covered. My parents will pay what they can, but the rest is up to me... I figure I'll be in about $15,000 - $30,000 in debt at graduation. Maybe less depending on other factors... Looks like I'll be paying off loans for awhile... Shit. I guess this is my "welcome" to the real world.
I need to find a job.
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| I've known it for awhile now, but today it just really hit me. I pulled out all my financial stuff for college and crunched some numbers really quick. I ended up with a large chunk of money that needed to be covered. My parents will pay what they can, but the rest is up to me... Looks like I'll be paying off loans for awhile... Shit. I guess this is my "welcome" to the real world.
I need to find a job.
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